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Subtle flirting techniques including using various personal accessories such as fans, parasols and gloves to convey messages of interest or disinterest.
Once formally introduced, a gentleman could offer to walk a young lady home by presenting her with a card that asked if he could be her escort.
If she had progressed to the stage of courtship in which she walked out with a gentleman, they always walked apart.
A gentleman could offer his hand over rough spots, the only contact he was allowed with a woman who was not his fiance.
During the Victorian era, unmarried women complained of all the good men being "taken", and they wondered if "Mr. Advice manuals were prevalent during the Victorian years, and women turned to these books for the advice that they provided, whether good or bad.Therefore courting was taken very seriously - by both sides. Men and women were careful not to lead the other on unnecessarily. The cards can be found in the Haper Stereograph Collection of the Boston Public Library collection and although there are twenty-five stages listed in the guide, postcard 11 is missing from the set. The stereographs begin with 'The Bashful Lover makes his Call' and end with a friend of the now happily married couple receiving exciting news of their first child. In the 1800s, courtship was considered more a career move than a romantic interlude for young men, as all of a woman's property reverted to him upon marriage. Women were not allowed to be alone with a man until they were engaged.A woman was never to go anywhere alone with a gentleman without her mother's permission.If a gentleman was introduced to a lady for the purpose of dancing did not mean he could speak to her if he saw her at another time or place.It would have been improper and if the gentleman wanted to become better acquainted with the lady, he would drop subtle hints to a mutual friend to possibly arrange for the friend to introduce him properly.Certain etiquette and conduct was expected of nineteenth century gentleman when courting. One etiquette book noted that 'courting ought never to be done except with a view to marriage.' This meant a gentleman had to walk a fine line.