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is a warm and funny look at life with teenagers, a survival guide written by a man who isn't sure he's actually surviving.
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Rule Four The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe.
Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chain saws are okay. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Rule Six Bra will always have a specific time in the evening when I expect her home.
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We all need to laugh and thank God, we have Bruce Cameron to help us out." "8 Simple Rules is not about daughter control, it's about bladder control.
This, of course, is in case I have to come after you for violating one of the rules.Let me elaborate, when it comes to mating, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.Rule Three It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early". To you I may appear to be a short geek-mustache man with muscular body.Put on a Depends, and safely begin hysterical laughter.In Brucespeak, children are supposed to laugh out loud taking your guidance.I will ask you a lot of questions and make sure you know that I know how special my daughter is.When you get to know our daughter, you’ll get to know us too.Bruce's razor sharp wit will make you laugh-out-loud as he proves there's only one way to survive living with teenage daughters: with humor.Caution: Don't read while drinking coffee." "Bruce Cameron is a funny, funny guy.Please take this curfew seriously because I will not be able to sleep until I know she has safely returned home.If you bring her home too late or, Kami forbid, the next morning, the camouflaged face looking in the window of your hover car will be mine. " However, when my daughter says "No" it means, "If you do not immediately stop what you are doing I will tell my Daddy and very soon, when you are alone and least expect it, he will be standing behind you in the dark with a grin on his face waiting for you to turn around so you and he can have a "Rule eight Once you have gone out with my princess, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. Rule Nine When you meet me for the first time please do not be uncomfortable if I stare at you.