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He's also reassured me that I'm the only one for him and that it's "normal" guy behavior and I have nothing to worry about.
Since then, I have recently discovered on his phone and on his computer naked/revealing pics of girls.
It’s hard to read in your letter whether your boyfriend is an overgrown frat boy mouth-breather, or just an enthusiastic dude with a busy social media presence.
Before you talk to him again, do some soul-searching. If you’re okay with erotica but not with these photos, what is the difference? Then acknowledge that you can’t control what he does or thinks about in his spare time, but tell him it would make you much more comfortable if he weren’t so public about his porn search/ posted fewer comments about his friends’ bikinis/ would stop “honking” your boobs at parties/ whatever.
That's why these pictures exist." On his computer I found that he saves pictures of the girls from FB (like the ones he randomly became FB friends with) and also, worst of all, one of my friends from modeling.
All these pictures were naked/half naked/extremely suggestive pics, and not pretty pics of them showcasing their face–that's an important note.
As long as your boyfriend is loving and wonderful in real life, his online pervin’ shouldn’t be so wounding.
Fixing that may fall on changing his behavior, your mindset, or both.
I'm a model/actress and he's a freelance producer and camera operator.
I also noticed he would become FB friends with random girls it didn't seem like he could know in real life, girls who it seems are just on FB to post sexy/insinuating pics of themselves.
I have talked to him about all of this: he was defensive at first and would brush it off like it wasn't a big deal, but I finally got him to understand and he doesn't do it anymore.
These are very, very blurry lines, of course, and largely a gut feeling. ) The take-home message: in such wiggly social spaces, you just have to trust your intuition.
While I see the behavior as “icky,” I don’t quite see the leap in how it has so deeply wounded you.