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Am I either downplaying the relationship to friends or family members, or keeping it a secret altogether? Not only do we have the option to connect with someone at work, online "affairs" are rife, says Jessica Le Roy, founder and clinical director of the Center for the Psychology of Women. Many people have a hard time seeing what's so wrong about this type of friendship.
"Now, if you're thinking about your old boyfriend, you can probably find him on Facebook." Plus, online communication makes connection both easier and more intense, more quickly. Culturally, we tend to believe that cheating is having sex with someone other than your spouse, period.
“Unfortunately, the federal policy doesn’t address that reality.
It might be time to revisit.” That could happen soon: The Violence Against Women Act, enacted nearly a generation ago, is up for reauthorization in 2018.
Analyzing 31,206 of these forms from the year 2013, the Penn researchers found that 82.1 percent of domestic violence reported included current or former dating partners (44.3 percent and 37.8 percent, respectively).
Current and ex-spouses accounted for about 15 percent and 3.5 percent, respectively.
Sorenson, a professor in the School of Social Policy & Practice, and Devan Spear, a recent Penn graduate, the majority of intimate partner violence—more than 80 percent of incidents in one study population—occurs in dating relationships.
“In Philadelphia, current boyfriends and girlfriends were more likely than current spouses to injure their victims,” says Sorenson, director of Penn’s Ortner Center on Family Violence.
No, but it can be devastating if your spouse finds out, says Vaughan.At that time, she helped the city create a more comprehensive form to document domestic violence.Today, the Philadelphia Police requires an officer responding to a domestic violence call to record a narrative description of the event, as well as information such as victim-offender relationship and behavior, regardless of whether an arrest occurs.This is a time when cold turkey is best, she recommends. More than 30 percent don’t even know where to begin and nearly 30 percent say they find it too stressful (think back to those sweaty palms and awkward conversations.) For more than 40 percent of respondents, other priorities are simply more important, and nearly one-quarter say it’s just too difficult to date when you’re 50-plus."The person may suddenly feel as though she doesn't know her partner." If you've made a strong emotional connection with someone else, with or without sex, it can be very painful for your spouse.Also, "emotional affairs can lead to physical infidelity," which only makes the deception worse and the disentanglement harder. "Don't respond to calls and e-mails as often while you disengage from this person." Should you fess up? The bigger deal you make of it, the harder it'll be on your spouse.For comparison, nationally, victims report about half of intimate partner violence incidents to police, and 54 percent involve current or former dating partners.Sorenson offers several hypotheses for these conclusions.The marriage-damaging factor of affairs, it turns out, is far less about sex than it is about the total package of deception."Most people, I've found, can recover from sexual infidelity more readily than from the fact that they were lied to," says Vaughan.