Dating an asian guy advice
Emotional repression is not my particular dysfunction (rage and insecurity are my modus operandi) but as an Asian American pastor in the Chinese church who has worked and counseled dozens of Asian men over the years, I can assure you emotional repression is fairly typical for Asian American men mainly because of cultural differences in the way Asians communicate.
He’s afraid of how you’ll receive his emotional expression. He’s afraid of sharing his feelings and being rejected.You also need to confront the reality that on an emotional expression scale (10 being unrestrained emotionality), he’s probably a 3.He may someday move from 3 to 5 but he will never be a 7 much less a 10. When I glanced at the title of Susan Walsh’s post How to Let Go of an Emotionally Repressed Man, my first thought was: Wow. And once I read it, that’s exactly who the emotionally repressed man turned out to be.Here’s the advice I would write to the 29-year old presumably white woman who is dating a 30-year old Taiwanese American man: My first instinct when I read about your situation is to tell you is to dump the guy and swear off emotionally repressed men forever.He is afraid to initiate dates because the fear of rejection or failure is so strong.All this fear causes paralysis and a feeling like he’s being flooded and his instinct is to retreat into himself. If you understand the fear behind his actions, then you will make an effort to help him feel safe and secure. He may even need a separate conversation to compose his feelings. This is, after all, the reason you were attracted to him in the first place.If you haven’t yet read my tantalizing dating articles, you’re about to find out that I’m quite the confessional writer. I bring you truth’s ore – raw, unpolished and ready for you to mold to your will. So, this article is intended to help hapless Asian guys find dates and there’s no one else more excited to write about how to do it than me. I know guys who have done this and they’re out there working.Most dating sites are run by people who have no idea about dating and are just telling you what you wish to hear. That’s not only colossally stupid, but also dangerous.So we can’t help it if we were born with kick-ass hair. Ironically, gay Asian guys have no problem hooking up and are highly sought after by EVERYONE in the gay community. I’ve had to turn down more gay men in my life than straight women, sad I know, but what does that tell you?Get yourself a slick, edgy haircut and some styling product. I can’t really teach you how to be that savvy conversationalist/smooth operator.