Dating a busy single mom
"How would you feel if your kids came into your bedroom in the middle of the night with this person sleeping over? If you can comfortably answer your child's questions and tend to their needs with that person lying in bed next to you, then maybe you're on the way to some slumber parties." If not, you can find other creative ways to make time for intimacy. Since hitting the bars is out, start by "dating" for friends, Baumgartner suggests.Look for people who like to do the same things as you do. They offer a casual group setting and regularly scheduled meet-ups, and allow you to do something while you're getting to know the other person.Baumgartner recommends relating it to friendships your child may have had.Talk about how we meet people we like and as we get to know each other better we get to decide if we still want to be friends, she says.Whether you're six months post-divorce or six years, there is no "right" time to start dating. If you're dying to get out of the house, call your girlfriends for a night out. If you're looking to get your heart pounding, try some cardio.
How much should you tell your kids -- or the cutie across the table?"As kids get older, you may choose to share more casual details about your new boyfriend," says Esther Boykin, a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach outside of Washington, D. "But for younger kids it's often best to start by introducing the idea that you have a new friend who you like to spend time with." When you're finally ready for the first meeting, start with a casual group activity your kids enjoy, like a picnic at a park with friends who have kids.If you do break up with someone your kids have already gotten to know, try to explain it to younger children in terms they'll understand.No date likes to be surprised by that info later on.Other than that, she says, save the details about your children, your custody arrangements, your divorce, and your ex for when you know the person better."Time with friends, time spent on activities that don't include kids or work, and time alone are all important." If you don't have time for these, your schedule may be too busy to fit dating in -- for now.If you want to date, you'll have to make time in your life for it.No matter what the age of the child, avoid a detailed account of why you broke up.Your kids deserve an explanation, but shouldn't be your confidants."This is big nay for me when children are in the house," Zane says."It's important to engage your village, friends, family who can support you with time-sharing and babysitting," Zane says.Parents who have a shared custody agreement may have evenings without the kids that they can use to schedule dates. You fill out a profile and it matches you with other like-minded mothers in your area." A potential friend and someone to swap babysitting with? Dating has changed since you were single, and so have you.