Dan ariely online dating
Breaking up can be hard to do, just as the song suggests.
But forget all that other stuff promoted by country music -- moping around for months, devouring tons of chocolate, becoming a hermit and whining that you'll never find love again.
"We often understand that over time we will be better. The mistake is the day after [the breakup], the immediate bias." Turns out, the predictions of how bad it will be after a distressing event are almost always wrong, Ariely says.
"Almost at the moment it happens, [people] are much better than they think they will be." The new research begs another intriguing question, Ariely says.
"But they dramatically overestimated how distressed they would be [later]." After the initial distress over the breakup, most felt better pretty quickly, the researchers say.
On average, they had dated for 14 months at the beginning of the study.It may be natural to over-predict distress right at the time of the breakup, says Eastwick, because "maybe when you are making those predictions, you are thinking about all the awful things [of not being in a relationship.]" Soon after the split, however, the person may begin to think about good things that are happening or good things about being single, the researchers say.For instance, the students might look forward to going home at the end of the quarter and seeing old friends or of not having to coordinate schedules."We're not trying to say that breakups are this wonderful, happy experience," says Eastwick. People do report an elevation in their level of stress and distress. The participants answered questions about their relationship, such as how much in love they felt and how badly they would feel if it ended.But when you ask people to predict how bad it is going to be, they systematically think it is worse [than it turns out to be]." (How did you break up with your latest love interest? Then, they completed biweekly questionnaires online, reporting whether they were still dating the person.Or it could dawn on them that they may meet someone new to date.This tendency to over-predict distress, the co-authors say, has been found in other situations, both positive and negative."What is this misguided prediction causing people to do?Is it causing people to stay in relationships longer [even if they are not ideal] because they think it will be awful to break up?“That’s on average, of course.” The study is published in the Aug.20 online issue of the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.